Tag: 3000
group name: ratingresurrect
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October 10, 2008 07:04 AM EDT --
hahahahah............
mwaaaahaaaahaaaahaaa........
I have found a place that I can set my base camp for the evil things I have in store ....
stand down,
I am near......................... . . . more
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September 28, 2008 10:35 PM EDT --
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply...
"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently . . . more
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September 30, 2008 08:12 AM EDT --
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette . . . more
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October 04, 2008 10:24 PM EDT --
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.
Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?" . . . more
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October 07, 2008 10:28 PM EDT --
How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?
12,001. That's one to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.
more
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October 07, 2008 10:33 PM EDT --
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!"
"Doctor, . . . more
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September 18, 2008 07:18 PM EDT --
There once were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their evil ways from the public eye. They attended the same temple, and to everyone else, they appeared to be perfect Jews. . . . more
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September 30, 2008 12:17 AM EDT --
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but . . . more
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September 30, 2008 12:19 AM EDT --
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, . . . more
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October 02, 2008 09:27 PM EDT --
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher . . . more
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October 02, 2008 09:48 PM EDT --
Hi Pals,
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.
Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.
To make the math . . . more
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October 05, 2008 09:00 PM EDT --
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?" . . . more
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October 05, 2008 09:04 PM EDT --
The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters which turn out to be a tiny one bedroom apartment.
The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn't . . . more
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September 18, 2008 07:15 PM EDT --
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'Best Deals'.
He was horrified when another competitor opened . . . more
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September 21, 2008 09:36 PM EDT --
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do . . . more
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September 21, 2008 09:39 PM EDT --
O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of 'dx' or 'dy'
And probably won't until the day I die.
Please, Lord, help me in this hour
As I take my case . . . more
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September 28, 2008 10:28 PM EDT --
I was eavesdropping on two women sitting behind me on the bus when they started talking about a trip to Switzerland. The first passenger asked the second whether she had enjoyed the beautiful scenery. . . . more
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September 28, 2008 10:31 PM EDT --
A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a long period of dating with no talk of marriage.
One night her steady boyfriend took her out to a Chinese restaurant. As he looked . . . more
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September 30, 2008 12:15 AM EDT --
"I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show that is! Did you see Sarah Palin's interview with Charlie . . . more
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September 30, 2008 12:25 AM EDT --
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown . . . more
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